So, your friend has told you her news. She’s pregnant and in tears. You’re worried that your face betrayed your own personal feelings and now you’re worried that your initial response could have been better?
Don’t worry. We are all human. We often imagine ourselves in our friend’s shoes and your instinct is that this is just awful. You might be imagining that this pregnancy might be the end of the fun you are having together or you’re worried about her as you know that she already has her plate full with relationship problems or even with another little one already at home.
Don’t worry, she still needs you and here are a few suggestions as to how you can really give her support.
Simply Listen
Be there for her. Let her talk. Try not to steer her in one direction or another because this is her decision to make. We might think that we know what is best for another person. She needs to come to her own conclusion. Maybe your friend has made a fast on-the-spot decision and you believe that she did this in haste? It’s always a good idea to suggest that she explores all of her options. In that way, she can be sure that the decision she is making is the best one for her.
Stand in her Corner
We may not always agree with the decisions that our friends make, but a true friend will be with someone through thick and thin. Some people rush into options-decisions because they think that people will abandon them and will look down on them. Being there for the long haul shows that you are the definition of a good friend by offering to support her now and into the future. Take care not to compromise any of your own morals in the process but you can show your friendship in many ways. One thing that you can say is that she is stronger than she knows.
Gather some information
Information on her options laid out in a factual way can really help your friend. We can all have misconceptions about the different options. Most people don’t realise how important it is to go for a sexually transmitted infections (STI) testing prior to having an abortion for example. Few know that having an STI at this time can be dangerous for one’s health. Discuss the pros and cons but avoid pushing in one direction or another.
Written by Aoife (staff member)